My lil girl cut her own hair, daddy will see her tomoro and flip out on us.. help? • Thinning Shears for Hairstylists

Jun6

My lil girl cut her own hair, daddy...

Posted at 6:36 PM • 18 Comments

She's all about her new Dora set with construction paper and safety scissors. The problem is that she is 4 and knows how mommy cuts hair (I do this for a living) and she decided it's time to make herself "pretty".

She cut off chunks of hair but I caught her in the act. She is missing some middle parts but did a good number on her bangs and now I have to explain to daddy what happened.

Her father is very mean and will punish her. He only has visitation because he's pretty ruthless and Im afraid for her and my verbal abuse. Id like to hear from someone? They are safety scissors so she could have never cut herself but he will be really mean to her about it. Help?

Wrote in rage, not responsible for grammar!

Might I recommend what you could do with some “not so safe” scissors? You need to have someone there with you that either has physical or legal authority over “daddy” and you should NEVER be afraid of anything so trivial. I have been where you are now and let me just say that if you are afraid of how her father will react to her haircut, imagine what anxiety she must feel when he is around. I wish you lived near me…or do you??? I’M in Fresno, CA and I am more than happy to be available tomorrow to show up when “daddy” is scheduled to visit and serve him with a lovely court issued emergency restraining order that will keep him under the rock from which he obviously came -until you can get your head straight and realize that you just asked a public forum how to protect yourself and your 4 year old daughter from a major threat. I’m not saying you are a bad mother because hell, maybe you are truly limited but your job, the one you elected when you gave birth is to protect your child. You are failing. When it comes time for court and judges, custody and visitation (I AM JUST TELLING YOU THE TRUTH HERE, NOT TRYING TO ATTACK YOU SO PLEASE DON’T TAKE THIS AS HOSTILE) you will look worse than he will if you are willing allowing your child to be subjected to this. E can walk in and tell any judge (my X husband’s exact words) that yes, he was abusive, yes he was an addict, yes, everything that you are claiming is true BUT HE GOT HELP, and he will walk out of there with joint custody and unsupervised visitation. Again, I have no idea where you are and I hope that it isn’t written like right under your name as I type all this in Word, but please consider the following: CA has many org. like Victim Witness Services (not as extreme as the name sounds and you don’t have to have death threats or broken bones to obtain their services) which will help you FREE OF CHARGE—NO EXCUSES—- to file a restraining order against her father, or the one that I elected for and only because I thought it would show the court what they wanted to see, both that I believe a child has a right to a father no matter what capacity (I do not), and that I am willing to put myself out in order to provide an unbiased ground for the father to pursue a relationship with our child (if and or when he should decide he wants to) is a protective custody order which states that all visitation is to be supervised by assigned persons and in a public place. I knew he wouldn’t show up loaded if anyone else were around so he left us alone, for awhile. Good luck and forget the hair, perhaps it had nothing to do with your profession but rather the fact that she knows her father is coming tomorrow. I will apologize that I am unable to simply post a hairstyle suggestion to such a desperate question; but I am me.

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18 Responses

Does she go on playdates or is she in school or daycare? I'd just blame it on another kid and hope he doesn't get mean. If he does end the visit.
References :

✭ Maureen on June 6, 2009 at 11:41 pm.
cut it to fix it up yourself
and then if he says something say she cut a bit herself so you fixed it
and theres nothing wrong with a new style
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✭ katelyn(: on June 7, 2009 at 12:06 am.
If he is a mean person, and from the sounds of it, hes not a very good guy…Maybe he shouldnt see her at all.
I did that as a child myself…ITS JUST HAIR it will grow back…Hm….
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✭ "Bee" on June 7, 2009 at 12:51 am.
Do your best to make it look natural, and tell him it was a new style she picked out…just leave out the fact she did the cutting herself!!!
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✭ Preggo With #2! on June 7, 2009 at 1:28 am.
Make an excuse to delay his visit for a while but if he is as bad as you make him sound you should get some legal help
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✭ Joey on June 7, 2009 at 2:03 am.
Call the cops and tell them what you think will happen. Ask them to just be around incase he goes to abuse either of you. He will Hide in your house and park his car else where.

If he goes to yell and be abusive he will be under arrest and you will never have to deal with him again.

I wish you the best. And you need to get you and your daughter out of that situation immediately.

Move to a SMALL town pretty far away. Like a country town. And be happy. You and your daughter deserve better than to have to live in fear.
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✭ forever on the internet on June 7, 2009 at 2:52 am.
All kids cut there own hair a time or two, if he is mean to her maybe you can get supervised visitation?
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✭ CourtnieLove on June 7, 2009 at 3:07 am.
My dad is pretty much the same exact way. I'm telling you now this needs to be fixed before it causes damage (I'm currently dealing with 19 years of this sort of relationship with my father throughout therapy). If he gets mad at her for things she doesn't mean/know she is doing wrong – it will (trust me from experience) really hurt her in the long run

aside from that, I would make sure you get him before he physically sees her and tell him what happened. Tell him that she is a little girl and had NO idea what she is doing, and that she needs to be told not to do it in the future but not punished the first time because that's how people learn! That's what my mom did – warned my dad first so he could blow off steam before he actually saw me. Hopefully he will realize the rationality before he gets to yell Good Luck
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✭ Smitty on June 7, 2009 at 3:16 am.
I see…I know how are you feel. These are some stuff I think you can do.

1) Blame it to other kids(day care, school, anything)
2) Have your parents/friends or both when he comes by and be ready to call police.

If he can't understand what you have to say, you and your daughter can permanently ban him from both of your lives. See if he likes that.

After all, you and your daughter don't deserve such punishment or verbal abuse.

I hope things will get better for you and your daughter. Take care!
References :

✭ Celi on June 7, 2009 at 3:51 am.
The best way to make sure he doesn't hurt her for it is to take the blame on yourself. Tell him you did it and your scissors slipped and you cut off too much. Or, if you can just shorten most of it to look the same length (if too much isn't missing), then just give her a good haircut and tell your ex you did it and think it looks great.

I know this sucks. You shouldn't have to lie to her dad to keep her safe, but I realize that's the way it is sometimes. I would also report this incident to child protective services or the judge or a social worker…somebody that can take your statement ahead of time and perhaps check in on daddy and your little girl just to make sure they're safe.

If nothing else, maybe you could say that she got gum in her hair and you had to cut it out. I don't think that's as good of a solution, but it's a second option.

Whatever you do, make sure you get others involved in this situation so he doesn't think he's free to do whatever nasty stuff he wants. Also, maybe you could take pictures of your daughter before she leaves, just to make sure he doesn't get away with bruising her. A video camera with the date and time on it is best, but even just plain pics will go a long way towards giving you whatever proof you need if he harms her. If he does, I'd go for getting his butt brought up on charges.

I realize that facing him must be scary, but I know you want to do what's best for your daughter. Not letting him put blame on her would be about the best you can do while he still has visitation, but then again, a lawyer might have more info for you. Maybe you could call one who can help?

To you and your daughter, good luck. I wish you both safe.

PS: getting the cops to be in the area would be a good safety net. Most cops are sympathetic to the plights of abused kids. If one were to be watching when he came to pick her up, you'd have protection and a witness if he got nasty.
References :

✭ Top Alpha Wolf on June 7, 2009 at 4:08 am.
sweetie, I Even did that at the age of 4 and ended up with a pixie cut.. my niece also 4 at the time , i tell him that although you do realize that it is shocking it is very normal ….
References :
answer mine pls..
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aq4pcXE2sL8Jwie.MDl3Kozsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090602211942AAqkQ81

✭ misboss2u on June 7, 2009 at 4:35 am.
my neice did this a few weeks ago right before my nephews holy communion.. we just put her bangs in a barette and gave her a pebbles pony tail.. sounds rediculious but it looks very cutee.. hope this works for ya!.
References :
life example

✭ Kita on June 7, 2009 at 5:01 am.
yep i agree mommy try to help her out with the cut if possible and try to make dad understand she's young and has already been punished by you…so no need 2 get sentenced twice for the same crime
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✭ TooDie C on June 7, 2009 at 5:50 am.
If you're afraid he will be mean to her then don't let him see her. And if it's court appointed, then conveniently not be at home when you think he will stop by to pick her up. 90% of kids have a self hair cutting story. My niece recently cut her entire left side to the scalp, right down the middle. She had half a head of hair for a long time, it was quite a cute story. But a parent has to understand these things and know that it's part of what kids do and remain calm. If he can't see that then I would even think of calling the police for further protection. Don't be scared of him. Protect your baby girl. Good luck hun!

Of course she needs to know she did something wrong though.
References :

✭ April L on June 7, 2009 at 6:03 am.
Wow, he sounds abusive and controlling. Seriously, he shouldn't have any visitation rights if you're scared of him (his reaction). You know what? I'd have the cops involved. Go see them tomorrow and tell them this exact story. A cop should be there with you when he's around or else, no visitation. If it gets too bad, you can pack your things and run to a shelter for abused women and children. I'm scared for your life and your daughter's. Do something before you or your child gets hurt. Good luck, honey, and protect your little angel.
References :
"Men" like this do not get better with time.

✭ bubbly8841 on June 7, 2009 at 6:10 am.
Blame it on another kid, but that would mean that you would have to tell your daughter to lie about it also. Why would he get so mad at that? Maybe he doesn't know that it grows back. Could you call him and have him change the time he sees her to next week so it has a little chance to grow out? Maybe you could put some hair extensions in. That sounds awful doesn't it, but it might work.

My four year old cut her hair about 4 months ago and it finally looks normal again. It is so normal for kids to try and cut their hair.
References :

✭ Hanna-Party of 3 on June 7, 2009 at 6:41 am.
Wrote in rage, not responsible for grammar!

Might I recommend what you could do with some “not so safe” scissors? You need to have someone there with you that either has physical or legal authority over “daddy” and you should NEVER be afraid of anything so trivial. I have been where you are now and let me just say that if you are afraid of how her father will react to her haircut, imagine what anxiety she must feel when he is around. I wish you lived near me…or do you??? I’M in Fresno, CA and I am more than happy to be available tomorrow to show up when “daddy” is scheduled to visit and serve him with a lovely court issued emergency restraining order that will keep him under the rock from which he obviously came -until you can get your head straight and realize that you just asked a public forum how to protect yourself and your 4 year old daughter from a major threat. I’m not saying you are a bad mother because hell, maybe you are truly limited but your job, the one you elected when you gave birth is to protect your child. You are failing. When it comes time for court and judges, custody and visitation (I AM JUST TELLING YOU THE TRUTH HERE, NOT TRYING TO ATTACK YOU SO PLEASE DON’T TAKE THIS AS HOSTILE) you will look worse than he will if you are willing allowing your child to be subjected to this. E can walk in and tell any judge (my X husband’s exact words) that yes, he was abusive, yes he was an addict, yes, everything that you are claiming is true BUT HE GOT HELP, and he will walk out of there with joint custody and unsupervised visitation. Again, I have no idea where you are and I hope that it isn’t written like right under your name as I type all this in Word, but please consider the following: CA has many org. like Victim Witness Services (not as extreme as the name sounds and you don’t have to have death threats or broken bones to obtain their services) which will help you FREE OF CHARGE—NO EXCUSES—- to file a restraining order against her father, or the one that I elected for and only because I thought it would show the court what they wanted to see, both that I believe a child has a right to a father no matter what capacity (I do not), and that I am willing to put myself out in order to provide an unbiased ground for the father to pursue a relationship with our child (if and or when he should decide he wants to) is a protective custody order which states that all visitation is to be supervised by assigned persons and in a public place. I knew he wouldn’t show up loaded if anyone else were around so he left us alone, for awhile. Good luck and forget the hair, perhaps it had nothing to do with your profession but rather the fact that she knows her father is coming tomorrow. I will apologize that I am unable to simply post a hairstyle suggestion to such a desperate question; but I am me.
References :

✭ Justjo on June 7, 2009 at 7:16 am.
refuse to let *HIM* see her (sorry) for verbal abuse purposes.
References :

✭ cryingdrag0n on June 7, 2009 at 7:48 am.

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My lil girl cut her own hair, daddy...

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